| (no subject) |
[Dec. 7th, 2005|04:36 pm] |
peterborough is a breeding ground for hate.
you hate me becuase i tell you how it is. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 28th, 2005|05:04 pm] |
fuck you
you think i care anymore
it was all a joke
those promises i said
that time i called
once i said i loved you
and now
here i sit
fuming with rage
and you cant see past my intent?!
thats why your so fucking
useless to me
fuck |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 9th, 2005|06:43 pm] |
my new job requires me to have no social life...
and no time at all to live.
i shall say farewell to you aLL
thanx |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 4th, 2005|10:31 am] |
new job.
mcci.
corporate.
sellout.
i hate myself in so many ways. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 31st, 2005|11:15 am] |
the car's on fire and there's no driver at the wheel
and the sewers are all muddied with a thousand lonely suicides
and a dark wind blows
the government is corrupt
and we're on so many drugs
with the radio on and the curtains drawn
we're trapped in the belly of this horrible machine
and the machine is bleeding to death
the sun has fallen down
and the billboards are all leering
and the flags are all dead at the top of their poles
it went like this:
the buildings tumbled in on themselves
mothers clutching babies picked through the rubble
and pulled out their hair
the skyline was beautiful on fire
all twisted metal stretching upwards
everything washed in a thin orange haze
i said: "kiss me, you're beautiful -
these are truly the last days"
you grabbed my hand and we fell into it
like a daydream or a fever
we woke up one morning and fell a little further down -
for sure it's the valley of death
i open up my wallet
and it's full of blood
**********
note*** I did not write that
********** |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 27th, 2005|04:16 pm] |
just finished my interview at MCCI.
woah it was intense.
i did good however and they are asking me back for another on the 3rd.
i think that means i got the job.
yeah!
****
if "money aint no thing"
than why the bling bling?
and if "s'all 'bout the benjamins"
than why are we spendin
so much of our time
crying and trying to eat
the food that cost too much
but the cars that kill enough
and fuck the boy whos only 13
if "money aint no thing"? |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 26th, 2005|12:34 pm] |
8689586
thats me.
call. |
|
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 20th, 2005|02:10 pm] |
abnixous
craving
fearful
tolerable
happy
drowning
pacing
dying |
|
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 17th, 2005|01:15 pm] |
this is a place where i can write more personal entries.
and i dont know why.
i cant feel why im not clean
and i dont want to trust what you have to tell me
yell at me
harder i climb for this place i search of
and all the while it was with you
too bad for me i say
i must go
running all the time and never even trying
i cant escape myself
can never leave myself alone
want to crawl out of my skin
claw at my eyes
pull my fucking hair out
but then i would cry
poor little girl
are you okay?
fuck you mister get outta my way
holy shit i cant even ignore them anymore
they have won |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 14th, 2005|10:10 am] |
in the midst of my biking home last nite i came to the conclusion that
i am beauitiful. most of my life ive been self-hating. always thinking
i dont measure up, im too fat im not pretty enough. but i was listening
to motorhead on my discman, saw myself in a refelction of a
window...and saw my beauty. call me crazy but yes it took me this long
to see it. it was actually quite emotional, strange i cried. alone. i
needed it. i cant beleive that ive hated myself for so long, there is
no need to. its so hard not to when you see all the other beauty in the
world.
on another note i need to get a phone. i was suppose to get my
housemates old phone, but he crapped out. now im phoneless and
internetless. i have no contact with the outside world. i live at 294
Lake St. so if you care, stop by.
im at work right now, and alas doing nothing. its fun. suppose to be
getting my smartserve, but thats not till later, so they have us doing
nothing.
OHHH OHH OHH i forgot to mention, there is a job offer at the Youth
Emergency Shelter, where i sorta work now. its for a releif shelter
worker. i hope i get it...indeed. well heres hopin'....
there are these friends that i have. and i dont know what they truly
think of me. whenever we hang out, it seems like its on thier terms, on
thier turf. i dont want to do it anynmore, ive changed since ive known
them last. since they've known me. i dont know how to tell them that.
its hard realizing that some people arnt your friends anymore. lack of
contact. lack of seeing each other. i dunno im lame.
my urge for travelling is commin more real. ive not been out of the
province all fucking summer and im restless as ever. i need to
breathe new air, feel the wind against my skin, travel out alone. i
want to get the fuck outta here. peterborough is
depressing. but i need the work that i have and if i get that
shelter job i cant leave. i hate...
people i miss
patrick mullaly
julia davie
danielle green
jess grover
jen mchugh
jenna trulove
tola
drea
jon k
all of halifax punx
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 9th, 2005|12:38 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  peaceful | ] |
Write 20 Random Facts About Yourself.
1. i have a OCD about symmetry
2. im in brampton
3. i have had my silver ring since i was 13 on the same finger
4. i have 11 piercings
5. my dreds make me happy
6. i like cheese, thats why im not vegan anymore
7. red heads get me going
8. i have a bladder infection
9. my mom is insane
10. i hate winter
11. poison is a good band, well i think anyway
12. cleaning makes me happy
13. i have a mole in my labia
14. i get sweaty hands when im nervous
15. ive never lost my wallet
16. i like dead pan humor
17. my legs are smooth
18. i hate people who wear pink
19. my vagina needs loving
20. i hate you |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 25th, 2005|12:01 am] |
breathe
hes comming so fast and inchoherent that you dont want to see
and i cant believe
that im drowning
so slowly i cant
breathe
calming noises hear me simply sleep
and i know now that its safe here, deep
this ocean holding me up
im breathing. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 14th, 2005|04:28 pm] |
|
GETTING A PHONE!
FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT DONT KNOW, I HAVENT HAD A PHONE FOR THE PAST...WELL LONG TIME...SO WHEN I GET THE # FUCKING CALL...
FRIDAY IS PHONE GETTING DAY....BITCHES! |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 10th, 2005|07:34 pm] |
so yeah
had a wicked time last nite at Grassroots...some ska show...indeed.
found out colin is 34. woah. i was way off.
Jules is back in town, ran into her at the Red Dog a few nites back...love her...BEAUTIFUL as ever.
Patrick I love you.
Chris I love you. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 4th, 2005|09:29 pm] |
new email address....
bonesunderflesh@hotmail.com
use it. |
|
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 4th, 2005|03:15 pm] |
went to spiders this weekend.
insane.
did shrooms for the first time in over 3yrs. loved it, faith is amazing.
lost my inhibitions.
fell in love all over again.
missed the party that was the party, but had my own.
came home to Spaz being dead. I will miss her forever.
R.I.P. Spaz. |
|
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 30th, 2005|04:04 pm] |
so had some credit counseling today.
gave me a better perspective on my debt, and how to acknowledge and deal with it.
set some short term goals for myself.
going to find a placement in the next 6 weeks. hopefully at the shelter itself, or another agency in town.
i believe i will excel within that field.
***
cant seem to get a grip
slowly moving toward the tip
and falling ever so casually
off the cliff
not knowing or caring how long i slip
i barely handle whats going on
and everyone around me is moving on
i glide and dwindle
and make him swindle
but he looks at her just the same
want him to be happy just the same
paranoia is death
and its not one of the best
ways I'd like to die
*** |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 29th, 2005|02:54 pm] |
gotten to know our new kitty better and changed her name accordingly...her new name is BERZERKER!
cause she is insane..and we love it. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 25th, 2005|08:41 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Judas Priest | ] |
got a kitty
named her Mia
so cute
tim got me her for my birthday
hope this one doesnt run away
shes going to be an indoor cat
and i love her so
shes so little! |
|
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 19th, 2005|12:23 pm] |
how come i have to have the worst periods ever.?
fuck cunts. |
|
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